Why I Wrote Embracing Diversity
Written by Mabelle Yeo
Bullying doesn’t just happen to children
I get incensed when I witness or even hear of children being made to feel small or unimportant by anyone. When left unaddressed, the impact of such unkindness and injustices often extends to adulthood for both the bullied and the bullies.
How many of you have observed, maybe even experienced, called out or consciously acknowledged that bullying doesn’t happen to children alone? In fact, it takes courage to stand up against it. Bullying happens to adults from different walks of life;
• at different levels,
• in various social settings and work environments,
• under an array of circumstances,
• amongst people with different racial or cultural backgrounds,
• varying points of views,
• differing intents,
• or even ideas of beauty.
It can happen within
• some extended families,
• communities,
• amongst friends,
• neighbours,
• and even strangers.
Sometimes, it is witnessed on a more macro level among businesses and even countries.
A few years ago, amidst an emergence of news reports on the loss of precious lives due to bullying, both in the physical and cyber worlds, and set against an increasingly complex and fragile state of affairs for many countries in the world, especially small states, as global geopolitical shifts and escalating cross-border tensions occurred, Theodore Finds His Spot was conceived.
A picture of Little Theodore the teaspoon drawn on a little wooden spoon by a bright little girl whom Theodore met at a book reading event. A precious bookmark.
I would like to believe I was simply seeking respite and solace in what made me feel more human and optimistic again—stories.
Not so much my own. I figured, I was probably not the only one feeling defeated at times, bumped out, having tried your best, but being told to be a certain way, to stay small and be afraid of being different, of being you.
And children and adults alike need to know—they are not alone.
They need to know bullying does and can happen at any age, and that does not make it right or any less or more acceptable, but they can choose how they respond to it. They can stand tall and be proud of being different. What others try to do to them does not, cannot and need not make them less than the beautiful, inspiring individuals they are born to be. They are just as precious and much more.
Adults should fight against bullying, too
Most of my career has always been about knowing more about different people’s lives: what they have been through, their aspirations for their kids, their challenges and frustrations and the things they had to overcome, their fears, their hopes. Then, sharing their perspectives, celebrate their grit, and weaving all of these into a larger story about how we could work and live together.
As such, I have learnt that it is up to all of us to fix certain divides, deliberate acts of discrimination or, yes, even bullying. It is not about waiting for somebody to come and save you. The most important agent of change is the ordinary person who says, “No, that’s not right”.
Of course, for most of human history, there is a cost to challenging bullies and even those who try to condone or mask it for convenience or gains. That is when we as adults have to ask ourselves certain questions.
We say we want a cohesive, equal, progressive and safe society for our children, but are we willing to speak up for it, stand up against bullying when it is tough and risky, and not just when it is easy and involves your own?
Are we ready too to hear out the alleged bullies and let them speak, before telling them why they are wrong?
Are we committed to letting kids (and adults) know that bullying is not okay, even if they have been bullied before, or even when the world seems to deal a lighter hand on bullies at times?
What can we do to assure kids who will enter the workforce one day that being bullied is not and should not be accepted, at any age?
How will they know that they have an immediate strong backing to help in their fight or preservation of their right to peace and safety?
About the series, Embracing Diversity
(A colourful display of Books in the Embracing Diversity series. Photos by: Wilson Yeo)
Theodore is the only teaspoon in a young human family's kitchen, often picked on by his bigger, more frequently used silver friends—a group of tablespoons, forks and knives. Theodore was given a renewed hope and a vision of a bigger destiny when Grandmother pops by for a month-long staycation. Grandmother, who personifies unexpected opportunities, whips up daily feasts for the family with ease, with the help of her new, tiny steely friend.
Despite relentless and harsher taunts by his jealous, silver, bigger friends, Theodore reclaims his courage, finds his own voice and a spot at the family's table, and even empathetically attempts to help his bullies regain theirs after their hubristic fall from the family's favour.
Theodore Finds His Spot was the first of four books I wrote in the Embracing Diversity series. They are different stories, but they reflect the same heart of standing up against discrimination and bullying:
Poppy Meets A Star is a short story of a tiny transparent fruit fork in a kitchen. Unlike her fellow colourful fruit fork friends, Poppy is often not picked by the humans to pop fruit into their mouths.
Nevertheless, she embraces her seeming invisibility and surrounds herself with more well-meaning friends from the humans' spice cabinet. They embark on a quest to help the spice community and eventually learn that everyone is (and can be) an inspiration and the positive, even life-saving, difference they may be looking for all along.
Who says only star-shaped, loud, glamourous and highly visible individuals can be stars? Poppy and her friends learn that role models can pop up in the most unlikely of spaces and ways. Heroes need not be big either.
In Millie Lightens Up, you will see that little Millie the sponge-scrub has many things stuck in her head of hair and they keep weighing her down. Through a series of ups and downs, Millie finally learns the trick of letting go and choosing joy.
Finally, Bailey, our little porcelain bowl in Bailey Breaks the Ice, who was just minding his own business one fine sunny afternoon on his little dish rack in a kitchen, when suddenly, a human came in, picked him up, loaded him with a peculiar ingredient and popped him into the refrigerator where he was met with a very icy, cold welcome.
On fitting in, being left out and belonging
During our official launch of this fourth book in the Embracing Diversity series, I had asked the audience three questions, which I would like to ask you, my dear readers, the same, if I may:
1. Have you ever felt like you didn't belong? Especially when you are in a new environment or interacting with people you have just met?
2. Have you ever been made to feel like you didn't belong; that you were too different and that you didn't fit in?
3. Have you ever, whether you meant it or not, or realised it or not, have ever made someone feel like they didn't belong?
If you have mentally uttered “Yup, I have.” less than three times, you are definitely more enlightened and confident than I!
Many of us, at some point, whether we realise it or not, have been guilty of making someone feel they do not belong.
Sometimes simply because we are afraid of no longer being accepted if we were to accept someone who is too different and not liked by the majority in a group.
Sometimes, we are just afraid of what seems unfamiliar.
Or maybe we find it hard to agree to disagree, or have forbearance to work with people whom we do not agree with, or who have been setting us up to fail for their own gain or pleasure.
It is not easy, both for kids and adults alike. Theodore can attest to that. In the fridge, Bailey the bowl also experienced and witnessed all three of the scenarios I mentioned above. He immediately felt that he did not belong; he was made to feel like he did not belong; and he learnt the different reasons why the other bowls, containers and food ingredients in the fridge treated him that way.
These characters, and even Millie and Poppy too, taught me something as I wrote.
Words to live by
My dearest, cherished readers, children and adults alike, as you grow up or go through life, people are going to say or think all sorts of things about you. Sometimes, even you may think unkind things about yourselves.
But I pray that you will always hold on to these two words.
“You Matter”
You matter and you are loved. It is true. You are special and there is no one in this world or universe like you. If you do not exist, something will be missing in this world. Because you are meant to be born and to live in a time like this, with your own unique purpose on earth. So, remember always that you matter.
Also, sometimes, if we are not careful with what we allow into our minds, we may find ourselves carrying different kinds of baggage, much like little Millie did. Some of it is fun and glorious, some infuriating, painful or heartbreaking. Many are flippant opinions of us by people who do not even really know us or hate to see us shine. Most are thoughts and falsehoods we struggle with about ourselves.
But no matter how important that baggage may seem, the more it piles up, the more it weighs you down, until you find it hard to move forward or even enjoy the present. Past glories, past regrets, comments, anger, and fears… you cannot hold on to them. We have to let them go, and in so doing, set ourselves free to love ourselves and others again.
So, love yourselves, my beloved children and grown-up readers. Be kind to yourselves and others. Let's lift one another up. Be strong, be brave, stand tall even when others try to make you feel small. Be proud of yourselves, be happy, be blessed. Theodore, Poppy, Millie, Bailey and I are always rooting for you. We see you.
Because you matter.
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Mabelle Yeo is the author of the Embracing Diversity series. She has been an editor and writer for an eclectic range of publications both digital and print. Some of her favourite topics revolve around inclusivity, social resilience and cohesion, national security and wisdom drawn from animals. She has authored several children’s books, such as: The Blue Budgie Can’t Stay Still series supported by iMDA and published by Armour Publishing; Searching for Officer Joey, published in 2015 by the Ministry of Home Affairs in commemoration of SG50 and Home Team Festival 2015; When Tim Knows the Drill, Singapore’s very first counter-terrorism/SGSecure storybook, jointly published in 2017 by the Ministry of Home Affairs, Ministry of Education and Temasek Care Foundation; and The Mystery of the Bukit Timah Monkey Boy, commissioned and published by the SG50 Steering Committee and launched by Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong in 2015, in conjunction with Bukit Timah’s 60th Anniversary.